since nothing else has worked ...

has anyone seen my car keys?

Two keys, one square-headed and one round-, attached to an orangey-red Jagermeister bottle-opener keychain which I liked because it made my keys easy to find, and not because I like Jagermeister or beer.

Please contact me ASAP if you have any information. Thanks.

PPS. Yes I've looked under the bed/behind the books on my bookcase/inexplicably in my glove box/in the shower.