glam

i drove to work today in my convertible, with the top down and a scarf covering my head for anti-hair-flyaway practicality. Well, practicality, and the bonus of looking and feeling like a movie star. It's a lot easier to drive to work when you know that everyone on the road is envying you.

I didn't have breakfast, so I stopped at Noah's Bagels on the way. My hunger overtook me and I started to peel my food out of its wrapper at a stoplight. Fortunately, my inner Audrey Hepburn—noticeably absent until this particular moment in my life—stopped me and asked, "Would a movie star eat a cinnamon-sugar bagel in public while operating a moving vehicle?"

She was absolutely right, and I put it away; however, I'm pretty sure that a movie star would 1. not be driving herself anywhere in the first place, 2. have something newer and sleeker than a '92 Miata, 3. not be eating at all, and 4. not be listening to "Hey There Delilah" while not doing any of these things.

tomorrow 05.09.09

all right all right all right! Celebrate my successfully-torrented Morrison Hotel Doors album with this slideshow that has nothing to do with that whatsoever!



Some faves, in no particular order:



Moses the Giant destroys a normal-sized chair.



Josh Fadem gets all "Jewish."



Marisol Medina is romanced by Chad Fogland.

View the whole set here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/megalope/sets/72157618060148725/

(Oh rite, and PHOTOBOOTH OMG)

you really should talk to somebody

if I had a nickel for every time someone recommended I see a therapist—and these someones have run the gamut from ill-mannered to intentionally hurtful to well-meaning—I'd have a couple dollars. That's not enough money to pay for even one therapy session, which is what it would take for me to resolve the inner crisis brought on by proposing an "if I had a nickel for..." scenario.

-Why do we do it? It's completely hypothetical!
-Some of us like dealing with hypotheticals.
-Yeah, okay, but we're moving forward with our life; we can't keep pining away for the shoulda couldas in the past.
-But "having a nickel" is completely imaginary; it's not something you failed to ...

And then I interrupt my own feedback loop before it devolves into a deep and impassioned study of my failures as friend, lover, daughter, artist... (I had to actually interrupt this sentence before I could continue the superficial examination of various roles in which I have failed.)

I've spent the past couple of weeks resenting a coworker for his "Pass the Dutchie" ringtone, general slovenly appearance, classic rock earbud noise overflow, and his grunting. Right around noon (i.e., four hours and twenty minutes before he wishes he were "anywhere bud here," right? Get it?!), Subway's favorite patron grabs a footlong and hoofs it back to work. He sits at his computer and eats, and then the grunting starts. I don't know if these noises are a courtesy deflection from outright belches, or if they're even digestion-related at all, but it borders on vulgar. In fact, I'll upgrade them to a solid Bon Qui Qui "Rude!" since BMarleyFan1979 doesn't seem to care that he shares the workplace with civilized individuals.

The most offensive thing he's ever done, though, has to be a certain comment he made to his supervisor Melissa last week. We're in the middle of a hiring process, and everyone in a semi-managerial role has been scrambling to get our ducks in a row before the pre-med students leave in June. Post-Subway and pre-grunt, my coworker brought Melissa a sandwich, which he does every day despite her assurances that she isn't interested or hungry. Melissa graciously thanked him anyway, and he responded, "Hey, you want to thank me? Hire more blondes."

It is almost relevant that every female at my work save one has brown hair (and I include myself); but I doubt the comment would have been less offensive had all of us listening been born tow-headed. One of us even piped up, "Hey!"

("Hey" as in, "Hey, Reggae-Loving Med-School-Dropout, how about you leave the sexist comments at home seeing as how we tolerate the sight of your unwashed hair on a regular basis?")

But to her protestation—and to the offended glares of the rest of our brunette crew—he only offered, "What? I like blondes."

Here's why I need therapy: this offends me. Whenever I do something clumsy at my work now and he's in the room, I can't help but think, "A blonde wouldn't have done that." And even before he made that comment, I had already emotionally and mentally established that never in my lifetime would I consider a romantic or platonic relationship with this person. Am I really so sensitive that someone clearly lacking social graces is so easily able to irritate me? Any normal person would have laughed it off. A normal internal balance would keep me even-keeled, even when his iPhone received-text beep goes off every fifteen minutes, probably for some blonde.

I guess I'm not a normal.

work im convo

M (m@workemail.com) says:
hey do you want to see a gross picture of a necrotized pancreas?

Coworker (cworker@workemail.com) says:
ewww

Coworker (cworker@workemail.com) says:
that sounds gross

M (m@workemail.com) says:
it totally is

Coworker (cworker@workemail.com) says:
meaning ead pancreas

Coworker (cworker@workemail.com) says:
*dead

M (m@workemail.com) says:
yeah, dead!

M (m@workemail.com) says:
i came across it when i opened a full text

M (m@workemail.com) says:
it's really gross, it will make everyone barf

Coworker (cworker@workemail.com) says:
sure, shoot it over

birth announcement

it's hard for a mother to put into words the joy she feels when she's brought life into the world. Perhaps this photo of Lil Sprout will move you to tears the way Sprout's physical being does to me. (All eight inches of him! He grows so fast!)

Coming soon are photos of Lil Sprout's brother and cousin, who made their joint appearances this morning and are each about 1/4 of an inch tall. We'll see if any other seeds decide to spring into Spring. Who knows? Maybe I'm the Nadya Suleman of sweet pea plants.

tomorrow 04.04.09

this week:

MAKE IT HAPPEN

last week:

HAPPENED



Full set: http://www.flickr.com/photos/megalope/sets/72157616533266992/

Just a few:



Leo Flowers is a vegan, but wears leather shoes. For shame.



Ron fluffs his hair during Pete Carboni's set.



Claire Titelman's got a system.



Tears of the Salazar.

i'd love to get back to you on those studies, but i'm really upset about the IMF right now

listening to KCRW on my lunch break, and it hit me: I haven't heard any of NPR's commentators taking Obama to task for his endorsement of the International Monetary Fund, a group responsible for crippling trade restrictions on developing nations with heinous results. This is the solution? Solve the corruption, disorganization, and upper-class bias by shoveling money into an organization that is already corrupt, disorganized, and biased towards the elite and already-powerful nations? I can't even write about it. I can't get behind it, I just can't.

Why aren't people talking about this? Am I missing it? Should I make a Facebook group?